It’s 5am, the alarm goes off and on goes the phone. Checking the latest news while walking to the bathroom. Coffee’s already made and the first cup in hand having barely put the phone down. Then it’s into the shower and off to work via the 45 minute racetrack commute while listening to “The Morning Lowdown with Larry and Mo”. Then into the office for nonstop meetings and emails until it’s time to drive back home again—or to the gym, or a dinner, or improv, or…. Then some time in front of the television before heading to bed and starting the whole thing over again. This is the norm for so many of us in today’s nonstop consumption and success/results driven world.
And now it’s the holiday season and that often means the chaos accelerates with the added pressure of giving the perfect gift(s). So, I have a suggestion. Give yourself a couple of tried-and-true gifts with incredible benefits: stillness and acceptance.
Stillness is more than just bringing the body into an unmoving state. It’s also about the mind and its surroundings. Someone might get a lot of relative stillness vegging out in front of the television and binge watching “Orange is the New Black”, but the mind will be stimulated continuously and without much volition. This is where meditation comes in and offers so much more. Not only can it involve stilling the body, but also a cultivation of an environment to give the mind potential for a break too.
Getting still for some period of time, be it 5 min or 60+, presents us with an opportunity to become familiar with what is going on (feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations) within and around us. And it just so happens that the Tibetan word for meditation is “gom” and it means “to become familiar with”. It’s that simple – taking some time to abide in and pay attention to our inner world. It’s not about criticizing, speculating, or fabricating. It’s simply paying attention while allowing whatever is there to come and go without resistance.
According to Webster’s Dictionary, “familiarity” means: the state or quality of being familiar; a state of close relationship; close acquaintance with something. One of the ways that I often know I’m not familiar, not paying attention, is when someone asks me how I feel and I can’t answer them. It’s an unsettling experience — and one that I feel inside. And here’s where the second gift comes in because the thing that helps bring ease into that moment is acceptance. Just recognizing that this sensation is coming up and allowing it to be. Allowing it to pass. And then being present for what comes next….
And while acceptance can carry a note of approval, that is not what we’re talking about here. This is the simple act of allowing things — feelings, emotions, thoughts, sensations — to be just as they are. Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche often uses the expression “as it is” and the first time I heard him say it (while meditating) it brought an immediate sense of ease to my body and mind. It helps bring us closer to the experience of our natural state. Lama Willa Blythe Baker says it best when she wrote, “Naturalness has something to do with our wildness, beyond the civilizing influences of the everyday mind. The everyday mind fabricates. It plans. It manages. It interprets and seeks meaning. Its energy is tight. Naturalness is the part of the self that is unconstructed, spontaneous, free, unmade, and without plans or agendas. It is a part of you that is at ease in your own skin, and it does not resist being present. This part of you is aligned with the realm of the body and can be felt there. The body is, after all, an animal.” (From her excellent and highly recommended book, “The Wakeful Body” – a special must read for those that practice asana and seated meditation).
Come join me this Sunday (Dec 17 at 2:00pm) at the shala or on Zoom to give yourself these gifts and help get yourself ready for the holiday season that is upon us ;-)