innate = existing in, belonging to, or determined by factors in an individual from birth.
– Merriam Webster Dictionary
“Every emotion you feel, every movement you make, every situation you find yourself in is an expression of fundamental love and compassion.”
– Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
Think of a difficult situation you encountered this week. It doesn’t have to be anything major. It could be as simple as stubbing a toe, frustration with your computer, or a minor spat with a loved one. It could even be resistance to getting out of bed at 5:00am to get on your yoga mat or meditation cushion.
OK, so bring that situation to mind allowing any thoughts, bodily sensations and/or images to come up and move about. How did you feel when this happened? What went through your mind? Did you react? Did you want to react, but weren’t sure how? It’s not about “good” or “bad” or “right” or “wrong” here, try and just simply observe and reflect on the experience you had when this situation arose. Just noticing….
Mingyur Rinpoche teaches that love and compassion are the core of our being. They are innate qualities. Love being the wish to be happy — for ourselves and others. Compassion being the wish to be free from suffering. He says these are the essence of every emotion and thought we have. I don’t know about you, but that notion really took me by surprise. What? Even the bad stuff? Even when I get angry and yell at Richard (yes, unfortunately, that does happen). Even when someone does something terrible to another being? It’s a bit hard to process – at first….
OK, so now reflect again on the same situation you just brought up. Can you see that regardless of the experience, regardless of your reaction (or non-reaction), love and compassion were there? Somewhere deep down you thought that somehow it would lead to happiness, somehow it would reduce or alleviate your suffering.
So often we talk ourselves into – or out of – doing the thing that we know will actually contribute to happiness and less suffering. Addiction and practice (disciplined spiritual practice like yoga and meditation) are prime examples. I can’t count the number of times that I myself have had a drink (alcohol containing) full-well knowing that it wasn’t beneficial for me to do so, but somewhere within me convincing myself that it was. Nor can I count the number of times that a student has said to me, “well, I just couldn’t get up today, but I know I need this and I’m gonna get back on it.”
We know. We inherently know because, as Rinpoche points out, “innate love is often simply a feeling – an urge to be happy.” Granted it can be difficult to experience it as such, but this is why practice is so important and so beneficial. It provides the opportunity to cultivate this ability to experience and appreciate the essence of who we are.
So, be gentle and kind with yourself. Take the time to try and see every situation through the lens of love and compassion — to cultivate the equanimous mind. Which isn’t to say cultivate indifference, quite the contrary. It is to say, focus on the part of you that knows that every being, whether they know it or not, is simply wishing for the same thing — to be happy and free of suffering.
“At the heart of equanimity practice is recognizing that every experience is an expression of love and compassion. Whether you are joyful or frightened, content or angry, feeling good or bad, everything you are experiencing emerges from the basic wish to be happy and free from suffering.
And this is true of ALL beings.”
— Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche