It’s late summer 2018 and I’ve lost some momentum - not so sure I’m going to be able to make this move to Nashville happen on the timeline I’d planned. I’ve held a nice retreat in Italy that summer and teaching at Flow is going well -- although balancing morning and evening Mysore shifts along with practice is no small feat. One morning I step out of the Mysore room to check in with Jessica, a long-time friend and student who’s just wrapped up her practice, and she says something along the lines of “well, I’ve got news --- we’re moving to Nashville in December”. By the end of the day we’d agreed to meet to discuss working together to open a shala in Nashville.
It was the boost I needed. A good, supportive, can-do friend in the right place at the right time. Over the coming months, on the lead up to her move, Jessica and I met several times and together we put the pieces in place. We developed a business plan, established an LLC, registered with the State of Tennessee, claimed the name of the shala, and even made first contact with the church, which would become our home. Shortly after she and her husband moved, she FaceTimed me from the church and it was pretty clear to both of us that we’d found the right space. I flew down a couple weeks later, met with the pastor and within the month we had a signed lease agreement.
As hard as it was to fathom leaving our friends and community in DC, it felt like the signs were clear. This is what I’m meant to do. One of those signs was literally a sign. On the front lawn of the church there is a large sign embedded in the earth that says “Woodland Presbyterian Church - an inclusive community of faith”. This is, of course, tremendously important to me and quickly helped dissuade my concerns about locating the shala in a church. Not only that, but Jessica and I found this church in a matter of minutes and with one email and a couple visits the lease was signed. In addition, I was raised Presbyterian for the first twelve years of my life and it felt very full circle. It felt right on so many levels. Then my little brother sent me a photo of a sketch he had done of the church back in 2010! And the church was willing to grant us a graduated lease making start up so much easier. On top of all that, I did a bit of googling and learned that the prior pastor - who’d been there for many years - was at the forefront of the gay marriage movement in Tennessee. AND the first weekend after our move was Nashville Gay Pride and we marched with the church! All this left me with a grounded sense of YES. (And you can read more about these signs in prior blogs).
Thankfully my partner in life, Richard, believed enough in me to think all this was right too. So, we set the lease to start June 15th and then set out sights on the move to Nashville. In May I flew down and went on the hunt for a house to rent. It was crazy! Nashville’s exploding and the housing market in East Nashville was a lot like NYC back in the early 2000s. People were signing leases on the spot. Fortunately, I was able to secure a good place for us to land and set that lease date for June 15th as well. We loaded up a U-Haul (had to make a last minute run back to U-Haul for an additional trailer --- crazy!) and hit the road.
I learned some pretty major life lessons during this time - one being to ask for and accept help. I don’t think I could have made it through the first couple months without the financial support I received from DC friends. And I’m not sure I could have done this without Jessica -- she’s a get-er-done kinda person and really gave me the kick in the pants I needed. But, not only that, she believed I could do this. It made me realize how much I doubt myself. And pushed me to dig in and figure out why. A big part of it stemmed way back into my early childhood. As long as I can remember I wanted to be the best student in each and every class I took. I wanted the teachers' approval. Over and over again. And I did the same thing with my yoga teachers. And some part of me never feels “good enough” and as a result I have often held myself back. Sure, maybe I wasn’t the “best” at any given thing, but, I was me and I AM GOOD ENOUGH!