Some days I just don’t want to do it. I didn’t sleep well, my stomach is cramping, I’m tired, my knee hurts… the possible justifications NOT to get on my mat are endless. So, some days, I don’t. And I pretty much always regret it. Somedays I do, and I pretty much always feel better for it.
OK, so this is life. We could break it down like this:
33% feel good day
33% neutral day
34% feel crap day
This ratio varies widely of course, but the truth is that, in general, we all have good days, bad days and so-so/neutral days. Part of maintaining a committed practice, of any kind, is not allowing how we feel dictate how we act.
Patanjali hits this head on in the Yoga Sutras. They write: tato dvandvānabhighātaḥ (2.48) meaning “Thereby, one is unafflicted by pairs of opposites.” (- Seth Powell, Yogic Studies).
The preceding sutras (2.46-47) suggest that we cultivate a seat (posture/asana) that is steady and comfortable (46) such that we can find a balance of effort and ease (47). This balance enables the yogi to move beyond the push (raga) and pull (dvesha) the material world exerts.
This practice teaches us many lessons, not the least of which is the importance of showing up for this life - even when we don’t want to. Many years ago (2004, I think) my first teacher, David Life (co-founder of Jivamukti Yoga), said something in an all day workshop that has stuck with me always. He said, “Do what you don’t feel like doing, and do it good!”. In the moment, it resonated and it has on so many days since.
When I sit back and reflect on my fifty-one years in this body, I can recall many times wherein I didn’t want to do something - some action that was right there in front of me - something with a likely positive outcome. And I just didn’t want to do it. Visit my grandmother on her deathbed, help my Grandpa cut Johnson grass from his fields, practice piano, help my Mom clean the house, stop partying, study for a calculus exam, go to a friend’s party or performance, get on my mat, sit down and meditate, and the list goes on….
Ninety plus percent of the time if one just gets on the mat and does the first surya namaskara the blah/negativity will begin to dissipate. By the time the fifth one is complete we may reside in a transformed mind state. And before we know it we’ve knocked out the practice. We exit the mat changed. We enter the world more capable of doing the things we don’t want to do, but know will be of service to others and thereby ourselves.
As one of our community members, Barbara, said “Some days, when you deserve to show up for yourself, you don’t really believe it, but you show up because you promised someone else (you’d bring them eggs). And you couldn’t let them down (have them believe they couldn’t trust your word).”