When I was a kid growing up in the farm country of the midwest the ultimate vision of success was to become a medical doctor. Money, status, a big house, a big family, new cars and Sunday mornings at church were the goal. All the way through high school I had my sights set on being a veterinarian or a doctor, but even well before high school I began to suspect that a wife and kids was not in my future. Then about 3rd year into university the doctor image began to crumble as well. So, I went for the next best thing -- graduate school. I kept going and going and somehow ended up with a PhD. I felt some level of self worth on that front, but my insides were a shambles and acknowledging my gayness had turned my world upside down. By the time I moved to New York City in 2000 I found myself existing in two different worlds --- the gay Chelsea-boy culture by night and weekend and the Fortune 500 corporate, closeted world by day. Life kicked into overdrive and then 9/11 happened….
My friend Boden said, “I think it’d be good for you to come with me to yoga, but first go to Integral Yoga Institute and get the basics”. So I did. And then we went to Jivamukti Yoga School and my life started in a new direction. Over the coming 6 years and a move to DC, my devotion to yoga grew and in 2008 I walked away from the conventional path (the first time), resigned from my food policy job, and went to Jivamukti teacher training. The lure of stability, money, prestige, and the investment I’d made in education pulled me back later that year and I accepted a position at FDA. For a few years it felt like maybe it was the right direction to take. I was working in counterterrorism, started a successful international outreach program, and then joined the Beijing team and relished in the role of a diplomat. But, as I worked my way up the ranks, I began to run more and more frequently up against decisions that revealed the ugly, economic driven side of United States’ foreign policy. It stopped feeling right and at the same time my personal commitment to the yogic path elevated to the point that I knew it was where I wanted to funnel my energy.
My self-esteem trajectory mirrored this progression. I began to believe more in myself and think that maybe I could actually serve others through the sharing and teaching of yoga. I finally felt that I had found my dharma and was strong enough to admit it.
In October 2015 I tendered my resignation and on December 17th I walked out of the FDA building knowing that I couldn’t turn around and go back in (I’d surrendered my badge). As I drove out of the FDA lot a feeling I hadn’t anticipated washed over me. The gate closed behind me and so many years of “Hi, I’m Dr. Cory Bryant, International Policy Manager and…” moved through my mind. It hit me that I was no longer that person -- I was letting go of that identity. It was bittersweet and incredibly liberating.
That was December 17, 2015 and I had a plan to open a yoga shala in Navy Yard -- an up and coming DC neighborhood. But, you know what they say about the best laid plans….