In 2014, while sitting in a meeting at the World Trade Center in Geneva, I changed. I remember the moment and how it felt in my bodymindheart. It was as if I was looking out through new eyes. At that moment I knew that it was time to transition. It was time to give up the comfort and security of my government job and the luxuries it afforded me. It was time to follow the path that I could see rolling out before me – a path devoted to yoga (and please always keep in mind that when I use the word “yoga” it carries a very broad all-encompassing life scope).
That moment of recognition was filled with excitement, determination, and anxiety. Excitement because I love yoga and felt good about going all in. Determination because I knew it was not going to be easy. And anxiety because I wanted it to happen now and knew I needed to tread lightly so as not to totally wreck my household.
As I sat there, listening to bureaucrats drone on, I began to write. I left that meeting with a bit of a manifesto in tow and an outline of how I was going to make this transition come to pass. In October 2015 I handed in my resignation and after a request from my boss to support one last mission to Brussels, my last day was designated December 17, 2015.
Something happened on that last day that I had not anticipated. It was a really nice day. My boss, who I respected very much, took me to lunch and told me how much she respected me for following my heart and taking this leap. After some formalities and several more goodbyes I picked up my bag and headed for the exit. The building I worked in was quite large with long angular hallways, several elevators and a guarded entrance. Once outside the building there was a one-hundred yard walk to the parking lot and then another guarded gate to pass through. Every morning and evening for many years I had moved through this process of coming and going. But, this time was different. I was never coming back. I had turned in my badge, so I couldn’t come back even if I wanted to. And as I drove through the exit gate and waved to the guard that last time a huge part of my identity fell to the ground around me. It was a visceral experience — I felt it – and it took me by surprise. Since graduating from the University of Massachusetts with my doctorate I had been on a journey of collecting titles and by December 17, 2015 I was “Dr. Cory M. Bryant, Public Health & Trade Manager, International Affairs, Center for Food Safety & Applied Nutrition, U.S. Food & Drug Administration”. These were all props to make me feel like I was somebody, like my education, my effort, my job, mattered. And I had just taken all of that off like removing a heavy winter coat — and then walking out into the cold in bare skin. Tears came to my eyes, my hands shook and determination faltered, but only for a moment. And then, there it was, just me, embarking on a new adventure.
We all go through transitions everyday. Some minor, some major, many of them unnoticed and unplanned, but all potentially transformative. Yoga-meditation practice helps us become more adept at recognizing and navigating these transitional moments in our lives. It does this in several life-changing ways:
By quieting and going inward - within ourselves - on a repeated basis - we develop our inner, always present, faculty of awareness. We begin to recognize the gaps - the moments of great potential wherein we have the opportunity to engage in cultivating our own path. We learn to navigate fear – to move to the other side of our hurdles, maybe even with grace. We learn to manage discomforts – to recalibrate suffering, dissatisfaction, trauma, and even pain so that our lives become a bit easier. We learn to breathe and to FOCUS. And to be OK with what’s on the other side….
